Can A Marriage Be Saved After Trust Is Broken?
For any relationship, one factor that works to cement love is – trust. It is on this solid platform of trust other offshoots of emotions like respect, joy, gratitude develop and grow.
When it comes to marriage, trust becomes all the more important between a husband and wife. Thus, it is not a surprise to see marriages falling apart when the trust is broken by either of the partners.
When couples cheat on each other, infidelity and lies, gradually weaken the fabric of trust, and one fine day those emotions of love and respect simply disappear and fly out of the window.
What you thought was a safe haven of a strong and intimate relationship seems so fragile, easy to break. So, how do couples move on from here? Do all marriages with broken trusts have to end in a divorce or separation, or is there a way out?
Well, the good news is that any marriage can be salvaged, provided both husband and wife are willing to put in the effort to rebuild that trust, and are committed to the process.
Both parties, the offender and the offended, need to work together if they are serious about saving their marriage.
Here are some good starting points for the couples with broken trust.
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1. Start with a transparent conversation
Get a broader understanding of the situation, why and how it happened and try to get to the feelings or problems that may have been simmering below the surface.
The offending partner should be honest with information while the offended one should be patient and be a good listener. Keep in mind that such conversations are not going to be easy and will take loads of effort from both sides as one may feel emotional or upset during such conversations.
While what the offending partner did wasn’t OK, it is equally important to know the reasons behind their actions. The offender should take responsibility for all the actions instead of blaming any third party.
Admit your faults and discuss the details openly and be ready to accept and acknowledge all feelings of anger and hurt.
2. Learn to forgive and let go
Forgiveness holds the key, and if you see your partner is earnest in his or her efforts, you need to give them another chance and forgive your partner and yourself. After all, it is common to see couples blaming each other and themselves for the messy situation.
Let go of all your doubts if you want to improve the chances of rebuilding trust in your relationship. The couple needs to make positive responses if they are serious about making their relationship work.
Be honest with each other, as well as yourself and be realistic about the situation.
3. Be patient with each other
Accept that going back to normal and building back trust is going to take time. So, just saying sorry or offering an apology isn’t enough. Give each other time as winning back the old trust is not easy and can take a long time.
It would be unfair to expect your partner to forgive you right away and hope that things would get back on track fast. What you need to do is be patient and let the other partner take his time in order to move forward.
Even if you do not feel like at times, spend quality time together and try to let go of the past. Both partners should realize that achieving this goal wholly is not going to be easy and is going to take time.
4. Be consistent and committed in efforts
Keep in mind that rebuilding trust is not an easy task and would need consistent words and actions from the offending party. After all, your image is shaken, and it is you who has to show and prove that you are serious about saving the marriage and can go to any length to win back all that trust.
Consistency will make your spouse think more about you and find some good reasons to trust you again. Show acts of empathy and give each other space for the acknowledgment of hurt feelings.
Both parties must work to stay committed and share their pain, frustration, and fears as this can be healing to both parties.
5. Spend quality time together
Nobody expects you to have a normal relationship after the trust-breaking incident. Nevertheless, you need to give each other time in order to reconnect with your partner emotionally.
The only way to keep your relationship moving in a positive direction and in a healthy way is through a mutually supportive connection. Some ideas include going for hikes together or setting up date nights, making future plans with the children, and more.
Remember that even the closest of couples need to work on their relationships and keep the spirit of love and trust alive.
Mending a broken trust can be difficult and is not easy for any couple to handle. As mentioned earlier, it can take weeks, months, or even years to gain back that trust.
Be ready to accept that while your marriage may stay intact, it might not be the same or perfect as it was earlier, as your partner might not forgive you completely. Even if they do forgive you, they are unlikely to forget the incident.
Well, at least your partner has some level of trust in you, and that is why he or she is still with you. If that’s the case, then simply accept the situation and look at it as the new normal.
So, even if you are feeling hurt and are shocked at the behavior of your partner, consider your relationship and the valuable tips given in this article.
If you and your partner want to rebuild trust, you can. If you stay committed to one another, you can once again enjoy the loving and comforting relationship you have always enjoyed.
There is always a silver lining, no matter how dark the cloud is, and if both partners put their hearts in saving their marriage, they can certainly get the results they are looking for.