How to Become a Better Wife and Improve Your Marriage

How to work on being a better wife to my husband?

Sometimes during marriage, a couple will have disagreements and conflict. Some arguments and certain situations may be more difficult to resolve than others and even get out of control.

However, many times these excruciating moments can be controlled, if not prevented.

But isn’t that what arguments are all about? One person fights about their perspective on things, while the other defends theirs. How can relationship conflict be prevented or much less, controlled?

What if your marriage is lacking so much of what you are needing? Whether you are lacking commitment, attention, or even honesty. What can be done so you can have a fulfilling marriage?

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An important part of getting married includes compromising and sacrifice. Marriage can also be an extremely humbling experience for some. Pride is something that gets lost in marriage when it comes to protecting the interest of your partner.

Consequently, what can you do to make sure you are doing the best that you can for the survival of your marriage? This article will help the wives understand what she can do to become a better wife and improve her marriage.

Yes, that’s right. The wife has the opportunity to guide the destiny of her marriage in the direction she so chooses. There is so much a wife can do to control the outcome of what may or may not turn into a negative situation within a marriage.

Husbands, you play a tremendous role too, but for right now, we will focus on the wife.

1) Compromise, compromise, compromise!

Ladies, you should know this already! You have to compromise to have a great relationship. There is no one-way street here! You have to give, in order to get.

As women, we have lots of expectations from our husbands, and we should. We expect them to have and do one gazillion things for us. Well, guess what? We also have to give in one gazillion percent too.

Do you want your husband to give up football Sundays? What are you willing to give up?

You were not given the power authority to put out demands and not take any. It is not fair to anyone that they must bend when the other person refuses to be flexible.

“My husband never helps around the house.” Have you compromised with him? Have you offered something that will make him want to help more around the house? How about doing things with him?

Maybe you two can do gardening together which in turn helps him to get motivated with outside work. He can mow the lawn while you trim the hedges.

After you both do outside work, he may now want to offer help to complete inside housework. Pssst, some men actually find it sexy when women help with yard chores. Take advantage.

“My husband is always on Facebook!” You wish your husband will spend less time on social media and more time with you. Sacrifice some of your favorite time in the shopping mall, for him to give up some of his favorite time on news feeds.

“My husband isn’t romantic anymore.” What have you done lately to create romance? Have you spoken gentle and encouraging words to him? Did you give him that massage he’s needed after a long day at work? Have you cooked his delicious meal and served it in his favorite tie?

How creative have you been to make your husband want to get romantic? Wives, it’s not always up to your husbands to set the romance stage. He’s got to have a reason to start his engine too.

Then there’s the flip side. “He wants too much sex.” I think alot of wives are in this boat. This may be one of the hardest adjustments to get used to for many wives.

Having sex may be uncomfortable for many wives because it’s ‘just too much’. Some wives just don’t want to have as much sex as their husbands do for many reasons. “I’m tired”, “I have a headache”, “I’m bloated”, “I’m just not in the mood”, “I’m upset with you”.

If your husband has communicated to you that this a problem for him, ladies it’s extremely important that you consider his feelings and really try to change to satisfy his needs.

I’m not saying that if he wants to have sex 10 times a week, you must submit. However, you need to compromise and meet him atleast halfway… to 5 times a week. Some of you are already squirming and shaking your heads in disagreement, but it is crucial that you do what you can to not have your husband beg for your loving.

How about finding a time that works for you both? If you are tired at night when the kids go to bed, then aim for mornings. If you have a headache one day, then make up for it the next.

If the physical act of sex, puts you in pain, what about lubrication? Sometimes talking with your doctor about this may help as they can eliminate any medical issues and recommend helpful tips to ease any discomfort.

There are so many sex toys, movies, outfits, whatever you need to bring the excitement and pleasure into your bedroom, kitchen or the backseat of your car. Eliminate your excuses, dig deep and put a smile on your hubby’s face.

Listen, I’m not here to just fill a page with words. I also have to practice what I’m saying too.

Have you ever had a long day and just couldn’t wait to get to bed? Finally, you hit the pillow and begin to drift into dreamland.

Here comes your husband. He’s ready to spark that fire when your firewood is lost at sea.

I have a green troll that lives under a rock inside of me. Every time my husband tries to wake me up and I’m tired, that green troll begins to wake up and growl. His eyes begin to turn red and his chest begins to rise in anger.

I then have to talk to and calm my mean green troll down inside me by sprinkling love sugar on him. He loves love sugar and this makes him calm down. He’s now able to go back under his rock and I can then find it within me to wake up and spend time with my husband.

Wives, if you have a mean green troll inside you, order some love sugar off of Amazon and sprinkle it on him to get through those tough times with your husband.

I understand how exhausted you feel at the end of the day, and sometimes waking up feeling tired and it’s difficult to “get in the mood”. You have to worry about work, the kids, and chores around the house. I get it.

What if…sex could actually be an ANSWER to your exhaustion? (because it helps you sleep better).

What if….you could feel like, “I worked hard for everyone else today, I deserve to feel amazing now!”

What if…your relationship with your husband could be something that gives you strength to tackle your to do list, not one more thing to add to your to do list?

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On the serious side, when you find yourself getting upset because you would rather sleep (or do some other favorite activity) than be with your husband or adapt to his needs, you must find a way to put your feelings aside, and respect his to show him how much his means to you.

2) Show appreciation

Your husband works really hard to keep you happy. You may not be aware of this, but if your husband wants a happy marriage, there is not a day that goes by and he’s not doing something for your marriage.

Your husband may be working two jobs so he can financially support you. He may be at the gym so he can stay looking attractive for you. He may pick up the kids after school for you, so you can stay home and rest.

Whatever your husband is doing to keep you happy, you need to show appreciation constantly. Showing him how much he’s appreciated makes him feel loved. He knows that you are grateful for all that he’s doing for you.

You may say ‘thank you’ here and there after he’s done something nice for you. However, use the words, “I appreciate it when you…”. Be specific with him so he knows exactly what he’s done to make you feel appreciative.

If your husband buys you that ugly dress you’ve never wanted. Thank him for it! He actually thought about you and took the time out of his day to get something nice for you.

Some wives have never received such a loving gesture. Thank him for being so thoughtful and hang that ugly dress up like a boss!

If he hasn’t done something wonderful that day, you still need to show your gratitude for him. Talk about what he’s done in the past for you. Tell him you love how great of a dad he is.

When he wakes up one morning, have his favorite breakfast ready, watch his favorite tv show with him or take him on a surprise lunch date without the kids to show your thanks.

Continue to show your appreciation frequently.

3) Speak encouragement

Ladies, we need to encourage our husbands throughout their daily routines. Encouraging your husband makes him know that you support him and that you are by his side, no matter what.

If your husband feels defeated, we should be the ones to build him back up and let him know how great of a person he is. Speaking encouraging words helps him to build courage and maybe face a difficult situation.

Tell him he should apply for that promotion, let him know how great of a business owner he is. Show him how great of a friend he’s been towards others, explain how much his kids love him or help him to reach his fitness goal that he’s been struggling with.

You’ve got to inspire him and motivate him through life.

Your husband may have done something to make you upset in the past, but don’t ever let that prevent you from supporting him in times to come. You’ve got to be strong for your husband when he can’t be strong for himself.

Even when you can’t be strong for yourself, you’ve got to find the strength to be there for him. This is the difference between a wife and a great wife.

When your kids have to take that big scary Math test at school, you will find encouraging words so they may feel the confidence to do their best. Treat your husband the same. He may be facing a scary or difficult situation and you need to be there for him to help him through it.

4) Throw those complaints through the window

Ladies sitting to the back, I’m going to ask you to bring your seats up front because some of you need to hear this. Some of you wives thrive off of complaining to your husbands. Well, you’re in luck because this section is for you. Like it or not.

I’ve touched on reasons why couples argue so much and you can read more and learn about it here. One reason couples argue so much is because of complaints. I’m not pointing any fingers, but some of you women know this is all about you.

What are you griping about? Why do you have to complain so much? Is it because he’s not listening or is it because your complaining about things that are just not important?

How are you complaining? Are you yelling at him and constantly saying the same things over and over like a broken record?

Complaining too much to your husband automatically equals whining. You never want to seem like you are whining about things that you really want to get his attention with.

When your two-year-old toddler pitches himself on the ground and throws a tantrum are you quicker to give in just so he stops or do you teach him how to communicate effectively? What about helping him to understand that he won’t always get what he wants?

Sorry ladies, the same applies to you. Stop throwing yourself on the ground and pitching a hissy fit every time your husband doesn’t give you what you want.

You are an adult and you need to be a mature one. If your husband is not doing what you ask, find an appropriate way to express your feelings towards him.

Who wants to be married to a fussy baby? That’s what you appear as every time you fuss about something unnecessarily, over and over again. 

Do you always have to get mad when the trash isn’t taken out, when he leaves his sweaty clothes on the floor, or when he hasn’t fixed that doorknob yet? You’ve complained about it 89 times now and he still hasn’t done what you’ve asked.

Why oh why are things so huge for you that they become issues that turn into your husband’s death sentence? Will your life really be over if he doesn’t put the dang toilet seat down? If not, get over it!

If you must be petty and prove your point, find another toilet to use or even better, put the seat down yourself. I know that goes against all the rules.

However, you will not have lost your beautiful skin tone that you’ve worked so hard to keep due to stress that you can prevent. Plus, you look like the bigger person and he will love you even more. It’s a win-win situation.

Maybe you haven’t realized this yet, but you are not perfect either. The difference is, your husband doesn’t pout and kick when you take twice as long to get ready, or spend 16 hours on the phone with your girlfriends or didn’t complete the laundry by Thursday afternoon. 

If he has learned to allow you to make mistakes and be human, you should too. Stop complaining about petty issues, and just let it go. 

Does your husband tell you he loves you every day? Does he work hard to provide for the family? Is he respectful towards you?

If you’ve answered yes, I think he is allowed to leave his sweaty shorts on the floor, right next to the hamper that only takes three seconds to put in. Don’t you?

No one is perfect, not even you. If you wouldn’t want someone finding fault with you all the time, then ladies don’t do it to them. Pick up those sweaty shorts, keep the whining to yourself and take one for the team! The wives team. We can do this!

5) Yes, he gets a man cave too

A man cave? What’s that? A man cave is usually a part of your house that is only your husband’s space. It could be the garage, an outdoor shed or maybe an empty room that is just for him to use any way he wants.

We all need space from time to time and your husband shouldn’t get exempt from having alone time. When you feel burned out or overwhelmed, you take a walk, go to the spa, or cuddle up somewhere with a good book.

Your husband might also feel the need to unwind at times too. He may decide to go golfing, fishing, go to the gym or simply find a space in your home where he’s not bothered and can just relax.

We need to give them the space that they need to get a clear head, to be in a better mood or to just recharge. It’s okay if his space looks different than yours or if he takes time away differently than you do.

If he’s being honest with you and he just needs a few minutes/hours away to become a better person, we need to provide that for him. He won’t be gone for too long. He will miss you just like you will miss him, I promise.

Wives, you need to be understanding in all things. Once you are able to lose a little of yourself, you gain a little of him. I’m not saying to forget who you are as a person, but learn to let go of the things that doesn’t cause your marriage to grow.

Do you rather argue and complain over the mud that is tracked into your house or would you rather keep the peace into your home? The choices we make as wives will greatly impact what happens to our marriages.

The more unselfish choices you make, the more you will mature and your relationship will grow. In all you do, make your final decision the one that will improve your marriage.

Your husband can indeed make better choices at times, but be accountable for yourself. Don’t wait for him to change for the better. You change for the better and become a better wife, so you don’t have to wait for positive relationship changes.

Related: 13 Incredible Tips for a Successful Marriage

Use these tips on how to become a better wife and renew your marriage!

Have you tried your best to become a better wife so your marriage can improve? What have you done to prevent conflict within your relationship? Share with us what you’ve done that have worked or didn’t work for your marriage in the comments, we would love to hear from you.