10 Powerful Tips to Communicate Effectively with Your Spouse

10 Powerful Tips to Communicate Effectively with Your Spouse

There is ample evidence that shows that the secret behind a happy and healthy marriage is simple, honest, and transparent conversations.

Perhaps one of the most ignored areas by couples is their communication skills, which they take for granted.

So, if your marriage lacks those warm and intimate pillow talks, start working in that direction if you want your relationship to flourish.

It is time to take your relationship to the next level and make it stronger – all you two need to do is work on your communication skills.

Here are the 10 “commandments’ for communicating effectively with your spouse:

1. Turn off technology

happy african american facing each other smiling and dancing

Technology can be blamed for that poor quality of communication between a couple, as both husband and wife are forever glued to their mobiles or laptops.

Well, it is time to turn off the technology and give each other the attention they deserve.

While couples may be together for hours, studies show that they barely talk to each other.

In fact, it would be a good idea to turn off your mobile phones when you two are together for quality conversations.

2. Improve your listening techniques

Be a good listener and pay attention to each and every word your partner says. You will not only pump up the quality of the communication but also strengthen the intimacy in your relationship.

Be patient and be all eyes and ears when your partner is talking to you. So, spend quality time together and give each other the care and respect they deserve.

3. Keep body language receptive

angry African american couple sitting back to back on couch

Your body will convey a lot more than those words you speak. How you sit or place your hands or look at your partner will convey what you are actually feeling and what is running through your mind.

So, even if you are upset about something, keep your posture and facial expressions positive and receptive.

Do not carry that defensive stance, or your communication is not set off on the right start. Stay relaxed and make warm eye contact with an inviting body language.

Learn how to improve nonverbal communication in this informative article.

4. Have interesting and quality talks

While couples may be together for hours, studies show that they barely talk to each other and that too on the mundane topics. Be intentional about what you want to talk about and catch up on each other.

There is no need to dig into ungrateful memories or hurtful incidences, which are part and parcel of every couple’s life.

Read this insightful article on “Best Ways to Start a Conversation With Your Husband”.

5. Avoid loaded words

couple sitting on bed talking

While you may be itching to say” I’m tired of your attitude” or “Maybe you could change,” hold your horses.

Keep away from those judging and loaded words if you really want to improve communication between you and your spouse.

Such zingers may accomplish your mission, but they will do so at the cost of the trust and intimacy of your relationship.

Even if you feel like going back into the closet of your past, to address a certain problem, do so with carefully chosen words.

6. Use more of “I” and less of “you “

When you open any conversation with an “I” statement, it takes off the emotional pressure from your partner.

When you use more of “you“ statements, your partner would feel like he is cornered and may no longer be receptive to what you have to say.

Hence, what kind of language you choose and how you say it can make a lot of difference.

You can easily convey the same message positively with carefully chosen words.

When you use more of “I,” it shows you are aware of your responsibility and the need to change.

7. Be specific and clear

african american couple sitting on couch smiling and talking

Whenever you have conversations with your spouse on an important topic, be clear and specific. Stay away from making broad generalizations that are not at all useful in making quality communications.

Any contaminated messages with vague or unclear words can only lead to frustrating misleads.

Keep your conversations simple and straightforward, and without mixing your thoughts and feelings.

Use whole messages as a partial fragment can be misconstrued easily by our partner.

8. Be positive when expressing negative

At times, you two may have to discuss some touchy topics that are sensitive and likely to end up in flaring arguments.

The key lies in how you express these thoughts without sounding negative.

Those feelings can be communicated in a very different way, based on the kind of words you speak and how you speak.

Be patient and listen to the complaints of the other party without being defensive and judgmental.

9. Avoid threats and negative comparisons

black man and white woman sitting and talking

Keep in mind that every individual is made and developed differently, and at times, your spouse may disagree with you completely.

You might feel very tempted to make negative comparisons or threats, but avoid doing so at all costs.

Nobody likes to get compared, and that too negatively or face threats.

Making negative comparisons and threats sends a message to your partner that you find someone else better, and you might punish them.

Such talks only shut down the whole discussion and do not resolve the underlying issue.

Read more on “Comparing Your Marriage to Someone Else’s (and Why Not to do it)” here.

10. Express positive feelings

Spread positivity by expressing loving emotions freely. It is strange but true that couples like to express their negative thoughts much more freely as compared to the positive ones.

They find it very hard to say,” I love you” often or appreciate their partner.

Well, expressing those positive emotions is vital for the health of your marriage, and those positive expressions are an easy and effective way to add love, respect, and warmth in your relationship with your spouse.

Every couple wants their marriage to succeed, and the key lies in improving communication skills.

Use these 10 great effective ways to help increase communication with your spouse.

All said and done; it is not going to be easy to master these strategies.

However, if you are serious about bringing the love and warmth to your relationship and marriage, you can certainly work on improving your communication skills, as well as your marriage.

After all, you both deserve a healthy, loving relationship, and it can be easily done with solid and warm talks.

Looking for more ways for a successful marriage?

Check out, “13 Incredible Tips For a Successful Marriage”!

What has helped you communicate effectively with your spouse? We’d love to hear what worked for you. Leave us your tips in the comments and don’t forget to join our new, private Facebook group!

2 comments found

  1. Love this article. I am married 14 years and we are still thriving in our marriage. It can definitely be challenging especially adding kids in the mix, 8 and 13 years old.
    We use humor a lot to get through the tough times. I think the ability to laugh together is a healing factor to most problems. We do however know when to be serious as well

    1. Thank you! Yes, humor is one of the biggest asset in a happy marriage. When you can laugh with the one you are in love with, it’s a blessing. You’re kiddos are getting to that age of independence and soon you and your spouse will have much more quality time together. Wishing you many more years of a great marriage!

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