How to Prevent Financial Crisis in Marriage

How do I stop fighting about money in my marriage?

Money is one of the main sources of conflict in a married couple. Money and personal finance aren’t the most romantic topics around. We quite agree.

Yet, it is one of those thorny subjects that is a source of conflict (and sometimes even divorce!) that every couple should tackle.

Love and money go hand in hand, however, many times we avoid talking about “big money” as couples.

25% of couples recognize that money is a source of regular arguments. It is important enough to look into the subject. As a married couple, we should try to avoid adding this as an additional problem in our relationships.

Take a look at this article, and learn the Top 20 Causes of Problems in Marriage.

Money is one of the most popular disputes in any household. Whether you’ve lived with a roommate or a spouse, you have probably fought about money before.

Fighting with your spouse is WAY different than fighting with a roommate, especially when money is involved.

If you are always fighting about money in your marriage, here is how to finally put an end to the money fights.

Irreplaceable Ways to Avoid Fights in Your Marriage Over Money

1. What if we do not have the same way of managing money for our personal expenses?

In that case, this can cause conflicts: we have the impression that the other makes unnecessary purchases with our money, he disapproves of the smallest luxury that we want to pay. Moreover, it is imprudent on the financial plan.

In fact, if one of the spouses dies or becomes incapacitated, the joint account is frozen until all the legal steps have been taken care of. In addition, the joint account can become subject to seizure if one of the partners is a bad payer.

To avoid it: Each spouse should create a joint account for common expenses, but individually keep a separate personal account, to manage independently.

2. One of the life partners will always have less money in his pocket.

If one has to tighten his belt to maintain the same lifestyle as the other, if a discomfort sets in when it is necessary to ward off an unexpected expense, bitterness can set in, in the long term, especially if the spouse who earns less is insecure about this situation.

To avoid it: Balance the situation by dividing the common expenses in proportion to the salaries.

For example, if one earns $ 20,000, and the other earns $ 40,000, the couple’s total income is $ 60,000. The spouse who earns $ 40,000 will pay two-thirds of the household expenses, and the other will pay the remaining third.

3. Conflicts appear, especially if our positions are very different.

In the relationship each partner may think and act differently when it comes to spending. The spouse that spends more, appears carefree, and the frugal partner appears anxious. All of this generates feelings of guilt and shame in the spouses.

To avoid it: Establish a budget together, which forces you to discuss your financial situation, your priorities, and your objectives.

Thus, budget management becomes a common responsibility. Above all, avoid attributing fixed expenses (the mortgage, for example) to one spouse and variable expenses (such as groceries) to the other.

Whoever inherits variable expenses may find it difficult to follow his budget.

4. Debt is a major source of stress, which can put the couple at risk.

When we barely manage to pay the bills, it feels like we are working just to pay our debts. There is little space – and money – left for the couple’s leisure activities, who also have to contend with the worry of the lack of financial resources.

To avoid it: The budget is adjusted as soon as the couple’s situation changes: when buying a house, changing wages, or having a child, for example. You should try to limit purchases on credit, and question the importance of your consumption habits while spending.

5. Arguing over money can cause resentment on both sides.

The passive spouse feels they have no control over the finances, and the more active one feels that all the responsibility is on their shoulders.

How to avoid it: Clear things up and establish who is doing what. “Is one better with numbers?” You may feel that your husband is better with accounting, therefore, he should be responsible for the finances.

As long as it suits the other, who will assume other responsibilities between partners? The important thing is that, while management falls more to one, decision-making remains shared.

6. Money, like the education of children, is a potential subject of contention.

So, when the two themes overlap. It is no longer just the management of money that is in question, but also the values that we want to transmit to our offspring.

Many times parents give in to their child’s requests. Not only do parents put more financial responsibility on their shoulders with these actions, but they prevent their kids from learning the value of money and the time spent earning it.

To avoid it: Establish family rules together for the management of money intended for children.

For example, what do we pay them, and until what age? In the case of a big expense, does our teen have to assume part of it? We can also think about how our own parents behaved with us and discuss it with our spouse.

Here’s a great list that shows the average allowance for kids.

7. A joint account works like a regular bank account.

Except that, he has two holders who can each operate the account. The idea is that the joint account is used for the expenses of the couple and the household.

Everyone can keep a personal account. Or not. Both options are possible.

Using a joint account comes with a few obligations, as does your own personal account. Take this into account in your choice.

8. Of course, if there is only one joint account, the question does not arise without any personal account.

All the expenses are regulated by the common pot, which constitutes the joint account. If the personal accounts have been kept, it is necessary to define how the common expenses will be distributed:

1. Half and a half: the expenses are distributed between each one equally.

2. Pro-rata: expenses are distributed among each in proportion to each person’s salary.

These tips are very important, but it is even more so if you are in a marriage, especially with children.

This will save you many tensions and conflicts in your marriage, even unpleasant surprises. These strategies will allow you to face unforeseen expenses, as well as, help when planning a substantial purchase.

While we aren’t therapists and we can’t tell you that these will work for every money situation, this should help MOST couples stop fighting about money.

Despite everything that has just been written, remember that there is no preferential choice. There is only the right choice for you, your partner, and your marriage.

If these tips don’t work for you, try talking to a financial advisor or a couple’s counselor to help identify underlying problems that might be leading to these money fights.

Other articles you might be interested in:

Are You Stuck in a Marriage Because of Financial Reasons?

Staying in a Loveless Marriage Because of the Children

If you keep fighting over money, use these tips to avoid conflicts and stop the financial arguments between you and your spouse.

Do you and your spouse fight over money? Do you know what to do if your marriage is in financial crisis? Share your tips to prevent money conflicts in your marriage.